'You better hope your fingers are broken or else I'm not helping you pay for anything': Mom is casually cruel college-aged daughter when she breaks 3 fingers, urges her to ignore it

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 20, 2025 3:00 PM EST

If broken bones are good for anything (and they're not), it's getting sympathy. It's your surefire way to have everyone feel a little badly for you. You walk around with a cast and ask people to sign it, and maybe they'll hold your books for you or bring you a casserole. It's the one way you can feel a little better after sustaining an injury. I remember when someone would come to school on crutches, they became an instant celebrity. People would fight to be the person who accompanied them to the elevator. Everyone would come running with a sharpie, ready to sign the cast. It was the perfect way to become popular, at least temporarily. 

Some folks, though, have a hard time drumming up sympathy for anyone else, ever. Some people just want to watch the world burn. It's probably because they have such a low self-image that they can't imagine that anyone is doing worse than them. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10469800192
    via Diana Polekhina

  • That's what happened in this story when a college student's mom failed to do the job of a parent and support her child. Instead, she belittled her pain and manipulated her into feeling bad about it. Read on to see what happened, and how the daughter eventually got wise to her mother's behavior. 

  • 02

    'AITA for avoiding my mom after she told me to "s**k it up" when I broke my fingers

    I was at the gym where a heavy- weight fell onto three of the fingers on my left hand. I was in such severe pain that I thought I was going to pass out. While sobbing, I called my mom (as I am at college -far away from home). I told her that I thought I broke my finger/s, and that I wanted to go to urgent care. My mom has never been empathetic for physical injuries and mental health issues. When she heard me, she told me to s it up and rest. k
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 03
    I figured I would wait for a while- who knows, she could be right. edit: I feel I should mention that my fingers did not look deformed, so other than the bruising and swelling I was unsure if they were broken or not.
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 04
    While waiting, my roommate came home and saw the state that I was in. She took one look at my hand and assured me we had to go to urgent care. I didn't want to betray my mom, because she always said to never go to the ER or urgent care due to our "terrible insurance". However, I went and
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 05
    researched the cost of an out-of- pocket X-ray at the nearest urgent care, and it was only $200, which I was willing to pay. I told my mom this, and she said, "you better hope your fingers are broken or else I'm not helping you pay for anything".
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 06
    So I was under a weird circumstance where I hoped my fingers were broken for the sake of saying "I told you so" to my mom. I finally went to urgent care and got an X-ray. They confirmed both my pointer and middle fingers were broken, and may need surgery if not healed properly.
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 07
    When I called my mom back later that day and told her the news, she basically laughed and told me I should be glad that they were broken. Three weeks have gone by, and I have not spoken to her since.
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 08
    She's texted me and asked for updates on my fingers, but I feel conflicted on why she's suddenly acting like she cares when she clearly didn't in the first place. She's also not someone you can easily share your feelings with, so i'm not sure how to go about our next conversation. Should I just ignore it, or try to bring it up with her?
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 09

    Commenters gave their judgements on just how cruelly the mother was behaving.

    toffifeeandcoffee . 11h ago NTA You know how your birthgiver is. Don't go to her for medical advice or tell her anything because otherwise you'll allow her to dictate YOUR health. Ask yourself why you think you would "betray your mom" when getting required medical help. You even called her to get an okay from her for getting x-rays you wanted to pay for yourself.
    via u/toffifeeandcoffee
  • 10
    Is your insurence even this bad or is it another tool from her to control your health now that you are out of reach physically?
    via u/toffifeeandcoffee
  • 11
    • . Working_Form_3... OP 11h ago · Edited 1h ago i think you might be onto something edit: I realized this could most definitely be the truth. I have prescription pills I take every night. My mom insists on sending me a package with them inside every month, but it would be easier to just change the pharmacy location to somewhere closer to so I could go pick them up myself.
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 12
    Last month, she sent them late (on accident), and I had to deal with the consequences. I suggested it would be better to change the pharmacy location, but she said that I would be unable to "because none of the pharmacies around me take my insurance". I know this to be false because my roommate, who has my same insurance, picks up her medication at the nearest grocery store.
    via u/Working_Form_3460
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10469801216
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    • cooperbock 10h ago Not helpful but my first thought was to send a photo of your middle finger next time she asks for an update on your fingers.
    via u/cooperbock
  • 15
    JuWoolfie 10h ago God... this brings me back. I was in school and had an accident on the jungle gym, I was in a lot of pain so the school office called my dad. He told me, over the phone, that it wasn't that bad and I should go back to class.
    via u/JuWoolfie
  • 16
    8 hours later, I'm at home and my mom walks in. Her face while looking at my fed up arm is burned into my mind. We immediately went to urgent care and I got a cast out on my very broken arm... apparently I had fractured it and kept fracturing it more over the course of the day because I'm neurodivergent and can't properly feel my body.
    via u/JuWoolfie
  • 17
    So yeah, long story short, I don't talk to my father anymore, because that was just the beginning of his cruelty.
    via u/JuWoolfie
  • 18
    oh_la_la_92 • 7h ago NTA. I broke my arm as a kid and my mum waited 2 days to take me to hospital, I'm Australian, we didn't have to pay or anything, it was just because her brother, his wife and their kids were visiting and she didn't want me "being dramatic" while they were around.
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 19
    A very clean and open break, that was starting to heal wonky because she didn't even bandage it well, and then because I had a dance performance in a couple weeks she made them give me a half cast not a full one because that was she could have me wear the costumes while my still broken arm was strapped together underneath.
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 20
    Same woman also ignored my kidneys failing when I was 16 and it took me passing out in the bath after vomiting bl d from a torn throat and my younger sister finding me and thinking I'd died before my dad was finally allowed to bring me to hospital, she thought I was just being
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 21
    dramatic about exams, it was the holidays, I didn't miss any school until I was in hospital, for almost 3 weeks, where no-one, not even my family was allowed to visit because "you're sick, it's not a holiday" I spent my 16th birthday in hospital alone, I will forever love the nurse who snuck me in a cupcake and candles after my mum left for the night.
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 22
    I haven't spoken to her since my grandfather's funeral, where she yet again, got mad that her ex husband (my dad) was a pallbearer while she didn't even come over from the country she now lives in, she was so angry when he was a pallbearer for my grandma's funeral the year before too. She wasn't physically there either.
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 23
    My kids currently off school because he got sunburnt on Monday, it stings and he feels sick, it'll be Wednesday tomorrow and if he's still not feeling great he won't be at school again because kids deserve to feel safe and loved when they get hurt, regardless of what that hurt is.
    via u/oh_la_la_92
  • 24
    excel_pager_420 • 7h ago Gently, it's time to stop calling up your Mum hoping this time she will be a loving kind Mum. You could have made your fingers so much worse by delaying going to the hospital. This is why healthcare should be free. NTA
    via u/excel_pager_420
  • 25
    OkDragonfly4098 • 9h ago You're too old to be such a good little soldier. Use your common sense and take care of yourself next time. Ignore the uncaring hag.
    via u/OkDragonfly4098
  • 26
    Mesapholis 10h ago you are not betraying your mum. please, you should reduce contact to your mother. there are some hard truths in life and one of yours is that there are strangers online here, who care more for your wellbeing than she does.
    via u/Mesapholis
  • 27
    that is okay, and you will be okay, you have good people like your roommate. trust your friends, trust yourself. NTA - and don't listen to anyone who even suggests that you might be here. your hand got injured and the damage could have been worse if not treated- nothing good would have come from you ignoring it
    via u/Mesapholis

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teens aita kids mother teenagers injury broken bones moms parenting reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids adult children Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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